The Bong with bomb balls
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I am a Bengal tiger! |
What you’re missing if you don’t do Bikram yoga(C):He holds his crotch tighter and thrusts wildly, screaming, ‘I am a Bengal tiger! I am a Bengal tiger!’
Just before 5 p.m., a Rolls-Royce pulls up… Bikram Choudhury… is wearing a diamond-studded Rolex, a headset microphone, and a tiny Speedo… For the next 90 minutes, the scattershot, profanity-laced, name-dropping monologue continues… Halfway through class, he abruptly stops and takes a long swig of Coke. He stands up, grabs his trunks, and lets out a loud belch. When he’s finished burping, he holds his crotch tighter and thrusts wildly, screaming, “I am a Bengal tiger! I am a Bengal tiger!” …
“He’d talk about some girl’s breasts, or tell stories about how all the women in L.A. were walking funny after intercourse with him…”
“From pope to president to prime minister, billionaire, superstar, novelist, sportsman, athlete, hooker, street boy, they say, ‘Bikram, you changed my life, you saved my life…’ “
“I didn’t come here without a visa, like everyone from China and Vietnam and Cuba. I came here by special plane… received by the ambassador, by the president of the United States. I should be the most honored man in your country…”
“Bikram yoga is so big–this is a bathroom slipper you buy [for] $2 in Kmart,” he says, waving a plastic flip-flop in my face. “But you put ‘Bikram’ on it, it’ll sell for $35 in a second.”
“I have balls like atom bombs, two of them, 100 megatons each… Nobody fucks with me…” [Link]
The man whose testicles have half-lives was done in last week by a simple code violation. He’s vowed to leave LA for another land hungry for false gurus: Honolulu.
on Wednesday, July 5th, 2006, 6:32 pm in Health, Humor › 
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Haha, I’m glad he got nailed on overcrowding. I stopped doing Bikram yoga in SF because there were no limits to how tightly they packed us together. Many poses couldn’t be achieved for bumping into your neighbor, but in usual yoga-teacher style, the teachers blamed us for not relaxing enough rather than the physical impossibility of everyone stretching at full length. Also, you got your neighbors’ sweat flicked all over you.
Brilliant. Sounds like his habits from his weightlifting days (crotch grabbing, belching) never left him. What a jock!
And what a douche.
He surely fits in the ‘Wht the!!!’ category.