A few weeks ago, Manish graciously asked me to contribute to the ultra-brown world of arts&letters in which he lives and since that time, I’ve been a wreck. Why? Because I’m a man of minor accomplishments and bearing the sheer weight of even the lowest expectation is too much for me…
Thus, in […]

The early indications from today’s foiled plot to bomb planes out of London Heathrow Airport are that some of the suspects are Pakistani Brits. It’s still very early, however, and much info has yet to come out.
A major terrorist plot to commit mass murder on an unimaginable scale by exploding up to nine aircraft […]

The soap opera continues — Farah Damji, the ex-publisher of the British Asian mag Another Generation, is on the lam:
Damji, 39… has absconded from Downview prison in Surrey where she is serving a 3½-year sentence for dishonesty and perverting the course of justice. The former editor of the Asian lifestyle magazine Another Generation was released […]

At least 190 innocents were killed this evening by losers shifting their gimpy sights from downtown Bombay (257 killed in ‘93 bombings) to the booming suburbs, including my own. 7 bombs exploded after 6:25 pm on the Western rail line during the evening commute:
A series of blasts took place at Matunga, Khar, Santacruz, Jogeshwari, […]

A scandal erupted last week over an ice phallus at Amarnath. The giant lingam has turned out to be a fake. Needless to say, the padding was done by a man:
… every year, millions of pilgrims flock through the inhospitable terrains of Himalayas, braving the terrorist threat in the Kashmir valley and exposing their bodies […]

Worried about Israeli stoners outmarrying in India, the Israeli government has sent rabbis to open Chabad centers in drug-laden areas like Goa, Manali and Dharamshala:
Most Israeli youth come to India right after finishing their compulsory army training, which gives them a reasonable amount of money. And, Manali is their favoured haunt because of great weather, […]

I once accidentally ended up at a gay desi party in London, the price for missing the phrase ‘with a twist’ in the party listing. It took me quite some time to realize the mistake. Sometimes my radar-gaydar work as well as a telephone line in Bombay.
The first clue south of the river was the […]

An Italian woman mistranslated her world-beater of a headache as ‘a bomb’ on her mind and held up an entire Indian flight. I suggest she try the Hindi colloquialism, ‘It’s eating my head.’ Better for your co-passenger to think you have necrotizing fasciitis than explosivitis.
It’s odd to see American skittishness about terrorism spread to India, […]

When terrorists attacked a political rally in Kashmir over the weekend, they were disguised as cops. Confused, some of the political workers who were attacked actually helped the terrorists reload:
… a terrorist in police uniform appeared near the stage and started firing indiscriminately from a Kalashnikov assault rifle. “We thought he was a policeman […]