A while ago I blogged about Christian yoga, a movement which tries to divorce yoga from its Hindu roots. This is, as any Hindu could tell you, a fool’s errand. What could be more Hindu than surya namaskar, the pose in which you touch a politician’s toes? Shavasan, the corpse pose adopted by businesses everywhere under the Hindu rate of growth? Downward dog, the phrase you throw at stray curs outside your expensively-appointed flat in Bombay?

Now Newsweek is covering this silly movement, worrying out loud that yoga is the new gateway drug:

Willis believes that yoga is the dangerous entry point for a lot of non-Christian beliefs, including New Age superstition and astrology. [Link]

The funny thing is, I agree with the Christianists. I can’t set foot inside a vegetarian pizza joint in the East Village without being attacked by New Age flyers and crystals on strings. It was quite enlightening learning in America that my strict, nerdy Hindu upbringing was like slapping peace stickers on a ‘69 VW bus (though what a party I missed out on). It was like finding out in college that being from Punjabland outweighed being from Silicon Valley. I had to learn to drink, dance and emote in a hurry or I’d be letting down my people. On the other hand, a certain kind of street cred came for free.

As for watered-down American yoga being a dæmonic playground and hippie conversion camp…

From experience I can say that yoga is a dangerous practice for the Christian and leads seekers away from God… I remember numerous instances of “traveling outside my body” during yoga relaxation periods. I wonder who - or what - checked in when I checked out? … some medical professionals claim such experiences have led to psychosis. (Note: While Christians cannot be “possessed” since the Holy Spirit resides in your re-created human spirit, one may be “oppressed” by demonic influences…)

Did you know that yoga postures are offerings to the 330 million Hindu gods? … This young follower may not have your discernment. She may be like my mother and I were - weak and unskilled in the Word of God and open to the deceptions of the enemy…

… the word wicked means “twisted”… I like to think of PraiseMoves as a way to “untwist” these beneficial postures back to glorify God…

If one wanted to poison an animal… put the poison in the middle of a nice hunk of juicy meat… Did you know that 98% of rat poison is corn? Only 2% is the arsenic that poisons the rat. [Link]

Who knew the phrase actually went ’sex, drugs and yoga’? Yoga’s been around forever. It’s bigger than Oklahomans in Lululemon gear, tormented by post-yogic regret. I think there’s an asana for that.

Related posts: Criss-crossover, The Bong with bomb balls, Defending your gimmick, Kosher yoga