Unable to rid Delhi of aggressive rhesus monkeys, and unwilling to trap or kill animals some consider an incarnation of Hanuman, Delhi cops are getting creative. They’re buying statues of bigger monkeys called langurs (via India Uncut):

The department… plans to procure stone statues of langurs. “These dummies will look real. They will have wheels for easy movement, but these will be covered to make the dummies look real. [Link]

And the best part is, the dummies get bicycles:

“At some places, we plan to place these statues on bicycles, just like the real langurs carried by madaris (langur-keepers)…” [Link]

Last month on Elephanta Island, I saw a rhesus monkey unscrew a closed soft drink bottle with its teeth with a fluidity which cast a shadow of humanity. Ever since then I’ve been convinced they were an alien race ready to replace us on this planet. You think they’re just swiping your trash. Instead they sit in trees at night, watching. Waiting.