A scandal erupted last week over an ice phallus at Amarnath. The giant lingam has turned out to be a fake. Needless to say, the padding was done by a man:

… every year, millions of pilgrims flock through the inhospitable terrains of Himalayas, braving the terrorist threat in the Kashmir valley and exposing their bodies to sub-zero temperatures to undertake a 4-6 days yatra (pilgrimage). A natural ice lingam (male organ), depicting Lord Shiva’s epitome, forms right inside the 50 feet long and 25 feet wide cave… [Link]

A Shiv lingam nearly 5 feet high, crudely prepared from snow, is placed prominently at the Amarnath shrine and is dwarfing the genuine lingam, which is much smaller… the natural lingam has not attained its usual height and thickness this year. [Link]

Self-reporting exaggerates the height:

The real lingam, though dazzling, is about 2 feet high only. [Link]

Truly, a dry lingam will not arise:

The SASB then sent a High Altitude Warfare School team to inspect the track and surroundings of the cave. The team found the cave-top free of snow and the glacier cover had receded by 100 metres. The Shivlingam site was dry. [Link]

Fortunately, the fake lingam is given the same attention as real ones:

… personnel of the Amarnath board present in the cave behave like snow potters and use their hands to keep the crude lingam in shape… The artificial lingam is dotted with marks of human hands. [Link]

Had they seen the natural one, they’d feel even shorter-changed:

A large number of yatris are feeling shortchanged since they have failed to pay obeisance at the natural lingam. [Link]

Psst… you can buy ‘em online:

Mr Anil Jindal… and his wife Lalita say they have never come across an artificial lingam. [Link]

I hope he wasn’t pushed by a lingam:

Mr Ashwini Gupta… had the darshan of the real lingam for a fleeting moment, when he was being pushed out of the cave. [Link]

The word you’re looking for is ‘yonis‘:

Mr Bimal Kumar Singhal… describes the move of forming an artificial lingam as an attack on Hindu sentiments. [Link]

My naked interest in this story isn’t vested:

The spokesman expressed the hope that the pilgrims would not get swayed by concocted and motivated stories from quarters who had vested interests. [Link]

Who indeed?

“Who else knows better about the size and the shape of the lingam than the board…” [Link]

Update: Sepia Mutiny plays the straight man on this news.