‘Desi’ has just been added to the only dictionary you use several times a day, the one on your cell phone. The makers of T9 predictive texting have just added their first mixed-language, Hinglish dictionary for phrases like ‘chai,’ ‘desi’ and ‘kya re, saala? apun tapori nahin (What’s up, dickhead? I’m not your stooge.)’ (thanks, bb).

Which is very well as far as it goes, but what we need is a dictionary which contains other Indian words too: cities, common names and so on. My Finnphone can spell Manchester but not Madras. It can spell Charles but not Sanjay or Sangeeta. And I bought it in Bombay. Oh, the indignity.

While they’re at it, Nuance needs to add cuss words. Dictionaries are meant to be functional, not prim. Hitting the shift key twice and laboriously typing ‘faaak…’ or ‘macaca’ when you’re waiting for a tow in a snowstorm just doesn’t have the same feel.