With minimum comment, here are selected sentences from Khalid Mohammed’s review of the film Anamika, in today’s HT:

Ananth Narayan Mahadevan’s Anamika treats Alfred Hitchcock’s Rebecca (1940) as if it were chewing gum. Chomp, chomp, chomp till it’s tasteless and tiresome. Surely Hitch would have gone burp re burp.

[I don’t know whether the italicized Hitch is a copy-desk goof-up or an attempt to somehow link Hitchcock’s nickname with the Will Smith film. Also love the “1940” after “Rebecca” – so particular about details, aren’t we?]

The plot roast thickens. A cop (Gulshan Glower) eats kilos and kilos of goose liver. You get fever. His wife keeps going “Quack, quack” as if she were in a quackie movie.

[Might this be a "quackie movie"?]

and

Dino Morea and Minisha Lamba must be making Laurence Olivier and Joan Fontaine rock and roll in their graves.

[Interesting that reviewers who use phrases like “rock and roll in their graves”, and pride themselves on writing for the casual moviegoer, think it’s okay to drop Olivier and Fontaine into a piece like this without clarifying who they might be]

Update: Joan Fontaine is still alive.