From this novel cover we learn that foppish dress and mutton chop sideburns win you topless, self-pleasuring macaquinis. Chunky Pandey has taken note.

British author George MacDonald Fraser churns out fantasy novels about the British empire about an officer and antihero named Flashman. Like Forrest Gump, the author inserts Flashman into all the major battles of the empire. Fraser resurrected the out-of-copyright character during the height of the Vietnam War. Flashman was originally written by Thomas Hughes in 1859.

The list of his sexual conquests (see below) is long and includes not a few famous women. Despite his natural abilities and imposing figure, Flashman was a coward, running from the danger he constantly found himself in… Flashman arrived at the Fort by accident, tried to avoid all suggestions of involvement in the conflict, had to be bullied into holding a rifle by his sergeant and had been ‘rumbled,’ for a complete coward. Happily all inconvenient witnesses perished in the battle… He spent the next seventy-five years meeting the most famous people of his time and shirking his duty in the most famous conflicts and events of the 19th century. [Link]