The last Hollywood phillum
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Why, Mr. Darcy… |
The Last Legion is sneaking into U.S. theaters this Friday with no press screening, always the mark of a stinker (thanks, Aseem and Lisa). Ben Kingsley’s already been in some atrocious Western films (Bloodrayne, anyone?), and now Aishwarya’s piling them up: this is her second occidental hazing after The Mistress of Spices.
A couple of people have managed to worm their way into screenings:
The Last Legion feels like a 1950s film… more quaint than thrilling… this film’s obvious budget limitations (perhaps partially compensated for by the use of Tunisia and Slovakia to stand in for Italy and the United Kingdom) mean that you’re going to see a lot of shortcuts along the way - people get struck by arrows and spears and such off-screen, infernos are similarly lit away from our view…
… just barely enough character development to make us mildly interested in these characters… It’s hokey and corny, and if you don’t enjoy sword fighting, you’ll likely also find it a bit dull…. involvement of Firth, Kingsley and Mullan nudges this movie ever so slightly into the category of worth seeing…. [Link]
But seriously, how do you really feel?
As long as you’re not expecting Gladiator… and as long as you have a healthy sense of irony about you… then you’ll be reasonably entertained… Rai can’t act at all, but it is fun to see her try at being an Angelina Jolie / Lara Croft style bad ass action heroine. (She’s of course gorgeous to simply gawp at.) Kingsley - in laughable fake beard - is in “take the cheque and run” mode while… Firth is as mediocre as the movie he’s in…
… low rent and cheesy… [not] a complete waste of celluloid… The screenplay is tepid and predictable - the bits in-between action sequences are just plain… tame and small scale… - big hairy muscled guys with Viking helmets looking like either ‘Eighties metal band members or Wagner opera…
The Last Legion never realises that it is a bad movie and suffers for it… pacing and editing is simply too slow… The endless hand-to-hand swordfights will have you looking at your watch as the film loses all momentum… something you’ll rent one day when all the good stuff is out or catch late on TV one night. [Link]
Anyone else notice that Colin Firth played Mr. Darcy and Aishwarya Rai played Elizabeth in different versions of Pride & Prejudice? [Link]
Gladiator called. It wants its dialogue back. [Link]
One confused commenter with the highly inapposite handle ‘GeniusIQ165′ wrote:Aishwarya should go back to doing rap
I can understand seeking diversity in a film, but using an African-American actress to play a prominent Roman woman is highly inaccurate and laughable… She should go back to doing rap or whatever it is that made this woman famous… Ashawara sounds like an African-American name, and she appears to be African-American to me, whether she is playing a Native American or not. Anyway, what is a Native American doing in a Roman setting, anyway? [Link]
A wag responded:
… that is not an African-American woman. His name is Ben Kingsley… everybody in Ancient Rome wore a dress. They were just weird that way. [Link]
Aishwarya is going on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Wednesday. This is the second poorly-reviewed Aish-Weinstein effort. Welcome to Rho Beti Rho.
on Tuesday, August 14th, 2007, 2:56 pm in Film › 
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I saw the movie. It is not as bad as the review makes it. Actually, I thought Aishwarya finally managed to get a decent role as an Indian, which does not involve any of the stupid stereotypes.
Is the character of Mira Indian? The press notes don’t indicate any ethnicity as far as I could tell.
Also, in the trailer her voice SOUNDS dubbed and I wonder if anyone who has seen the film can opine on that.
From the trailer it sounded to me like her own voice.
I dont know about medieval movies man. Seriously I keep thinking of their body hygiene. I learnt that nugget at the museum - europeans didnt discover washing until after the french revolution. the skin was supposed to be fragile and water carried disease. that’s why perfumes became big in those times. before then, thesituation must have been even more morbid. If they really wanted to be true to the times, the lovemaking would probably involve mouth breathing and everyone over the age of 26 would be gaptoothed with green scum around their teeth. ms rai would prbably still be a fighter, but having had seven kids and 2 stillborn since she turned 14, she’d probably be orotund and have a twitchy eye and a chest that fell to the belly … and why arent they wearing codpieces. Nothing says culture better than codpieces.
Yes her character is that of a malayali with expert skills in kalaripayattu. And yes it is her own voice.
Rai cannot act..she is a beautiful barbie doll and her eyes are probably the most beautiful eyes ever but she cannot act at all..
and u are right mistress of spices is a bad choice film..as a novel it is just passable, making it into a movie was a very bad choice made by chadda..she spoke with a weird half indian half american accent last time I saw her on TV..probably David litterman or oprahs show or on 60 minutes dont remember..
But Iam glad though, she is paving way for Indian actresses to get into hollywood..good for her and good for India..
trollerboi that cracked me up. Is it just me or does anyone else find the Ash troller paints quite foxy?
Prakruti I wouldn’t go so far as to say she can’t act. She’s done perfectly well in films suited to her charms. But an action star she is not. I have not seen the movie, but I have watched perhaps five minutes’ worth of it, including an action sequence with Aishwariya. I don’t want to sound poncey, but I’m a martial artist and a dancer, I understand movement. It’s so, so wrong. I cannot take her seriously as “a warrior” nor do I find it easy to watch. If they wanted a high-kickin’ action chick they should’ve gone for someone less delicate (and with actual sex appeal).
I may be wrong, but i thinnk Aishwarya Rai is a trained Bharatnatyam dancer. But am not sure if that would help her action skills.
Yeah I was going to mention that actually - she is a very good dancer (you’re right, it’s bharatanatyam as well as odissi) but sadly it doesn’t help make her a convincing fighter.
Rohin, I saw almost all aiswarya rai movies as I am a big fan of hindi movies in general and she is disappointing in every movie..of all the Indian actress’es Rai had fantastic movie oppurtunities under great directors from bollywood to hollywood but she never excelled in any movie and has same expressions in every movie, no wonder she didnot win many awards..she barely meets expectations of any role she acts in..she is very pretty so she is watchable, but minus her prettiness u cant watch her..she dances ok ok, but there are so many better dancers in indian cinema compared to rai who are less pretty but more watchable.
like recent maniratnam movie Guru…his movie Roja and Guru had similar herione oriented nature song…madhubala in roja was so good in that song dil hi chota sa chote se asha and aiswarya looked so artificial, expressionless and killed the song in Guru…wish someone else did that role in Guru…there are so many movies I saw where I wished it was not aiswarya who was doing that role because she didnot do justice to the role because she cannot act…
she has all great oppurtunities with great director coming her way because of her beauty and she cannot act , so its a waste…
she made India proud by winning miss world, for paving way to Indian actresses in hollywood and she is not doubt a very beautiful lady but her acting skills are really bad ..poor…
Eh, Britishism? I’m not minding the oiled bosom effect.
I think she’s excellent in traditional and dance-centric roles. Loved Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam and Raincoat. Thought her role was underwritten in Guru.
Even though her role was underwritten in “Guru”, i guess she was at her best in that movie-better than the other two you mentioned. She emoted rather well in a few scenes and she had good chemistry with her hubby-costar :). As for Raincoat, Me. Devgan didn’t live up to the expectations :( i didn’t much like Hum dil de chuke sanam, as a movie-though individually, the actors pitched in well.
No Britishism Manish, I was just remarking that:
sounds like a tasty bit o’ crumpet
And here I thought ‘troller paints’ was a misspelling for capris.
Haha!
Oai! Ai kee?
Rohin, you jolly old walrus. Sounds like the Horny ran out in the Belaighty.
But I agree on the critique now that I see the trailer. When she throws punches or swings, the hand is not connected to the shoulder which is not connected to her butt. It’s all about transmission of the energy from the core to the extremity and I dont see it with her. She is in good shape - as in she’s athletically fit. But this shape has been acquired (I surmise) without doing impulse like exercises. She should do squat jumps.
Yeah, she doesn’t do action with confidence. She can shake the hips though, boy.
Anyone catch her on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson last night? Clip and/or report?
No, she apparently canceled the appearance.