Hold the presses — Preity Zinta’s dog is ill! In the next ten minutes, we must find a sexy photo of her and print it inappropriately next to the dying pooch. Is this possible?

We can rebuild it. We have the technology.

Brought to you courtesy of — who else? — the ToI. Here’s another gem:

The seven-year-old seems to think that party photos on the style pages are paid-for advertisements — how cute! Everyone knows you can’t just pay to get your story in the Times of India. They have far more editorial integrity than that.

You also have to buy a half-page ad.