I haven’t yet seen the famous Seinfeld episode called ‘The Implant,’ but it’s apparently got two of my favorite things, Rushdie jokes and Teri Hatcher.

KRAMER: You know who I saw at the health club? Salman Rushdie.

ELAINE (laughing): Yeah right, Salman Rushdie. Yeah well, I can see that - you got five millions Moslems after you, you wanna stay in pretty good shape… [Link]

Kramer makes the inevitable fish wisecrack:

KRAMER: Jerry, are you blind? He’s a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. Bass, Jerry! Instead of salmon, he went with bass! He just substituted one fish for another!

JERRY: Look, you idiot, first of all, it’s Salman, not salmon!

KRAMER: Jerry, Jerry, you’re missing the big picture! [Link]

Jerry and Kramer think the Rushdie lookalike might be pulling a Kaavya:

JERRY: I don’t think that’s Salman.

KRAMER: Well, I don’t think they’re real.

JERRY: If that’s Rushdie, they’re real.

KRAMER: If they’re real, that’s Rushdie.

JERRY: Well, I gotta know - I’m talkin’ to Sidra.

KRAMER: I gotta know, I’m talkin’ to Salman… [Link]

Kramer tries to weasel info out of the lookalike:

KRAMER: It’s like a sauna in here, huh? I feel like I’m…back at the desert.

“SALMAN”: You’ve lived in the desert?

KRAMER: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’ve uh…I’ve spent a little time in the Mideast. You ever been to the Mideast?

“SALMAN”: Yes, I’ve been there… [Link]

Hatcher closes with her famous line, ‘They’re real, and they’re spectacular.’