Last year, British Asians somehow snookered the Royal Mail into issuing a Hindu-themed Nativity stamp. It was a false flag operation. They pretended to be offended by the artwork.

This year, Indians have gone too far: The Nutcracker has gone bharatnatyam in Massachusetts (via Angry Asian Man):

… Kausalya Srinivasan, a visiting instructor from Tamil Nadu… [has been teaching] ”An Indian Nutcracker” all semester… at Bridgewater State College.

The production is… a multicultural interpretation of the classical ballet in line with other modern Nutcrackers like ”Harlem Nutcracker” and “Urban Nutcracker.” It is a fusion of classical Indian Bharatanatyam dance with other Indian dance styles and original Indian music… [Link]

“An Indian Nutcracker” includes dances with a Spanish flavor– a couple paired in formal movements suggesting flamenco — along with Chinese, Russian, African, and Indian dances. [Link]

The story, the music, the ballet — nothing remains. The horror, the horror:

”They’re all Irish-American, Italian-American - that’s what fun about this,” Moses said. ”When you see them on the stage, they’re Indian maidens…”

Like the traditional Nutcracker, Srinivasan’s production begins at a holiday gathering, with dancing, gifts and decorations - but it is an Indian gathering rather than a Christmas party. At the party, Clara receives a doll from her Aunt Drusselmeyer, rather than a Nutcracker from her uncle, and meets an interesting young man who is a guest.

She later falls asleep, dreams of her lord and is transformed into the Indian saint Andal. She gets engaged to the prince and together, they travel to the land of the snow queen and the land of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

In the land of sweets, they are entertained by dances of different countries and spices, each dance choreographed by students in a different ethnic style. The only ballet in the performance is the dance of the snowflakes… Its music is original, by two Indian composers… [Link]

Indian nutcracker

Land of the Sugar Plum Fairy, my ass. It’ll be the land of the Rasgulla Fairy by the time Ms. Srinivasan gets done with it I love their description of dandia raas…

The dancers — who wear brightly colored silk costumes, with rings of bells around their ankles — beat the floor with pairs of sticks in the rapid percussive rhythms of the “stick dance…”

… and bharatnatyam:

… dancers opened their fingers and swayed to suggest monkeys in Clara’s dream sequence. Other hand and facial gestures express birds, deer, and various animals of the forest. The bare-chested male dancers strike manly poses, hands on hips. Armies line up with hands in military posture holding invisible swords. [Link]

The college team’s quarterback has developed a sudden interest in dance:

Jim Yautabes, who plays the prince… plays quarterback for the college team… “They needed a prince,” he said. “It’s the fun. The girls are great.” [Link]

Art doesn’t have any respect either:

For the Russian folk tale, she substituted the Ramayana epic. Clara’s dream becomes a dream of Krishna. “Art doesn’t have any barriers…” [Link]

Now how are we going to not-see this ballet in every city, on every channel?