Amit Chatwani runs i-banking through a spectroscope in the very funny Leveraged Sell-Out. He landed in BusinessWeek last week like a Beastie Boy in French cuffs (thanks, Ramesh). The fictional blog pinpoints the combination of eye-popping bonuses, romantic ineptitude and utter lack of a life endemic to new i-bankers.

Amit is not a banker, but knows enough to stick with a related industry known for attractive women and cushy salaries. He pens Kaavya Viswanathan parodies, pokes fun at SEC filings, Desi Big Swinging Dicks and Milk & Honey, and tells you how to land a banker chick. His commenters know firsthand that you cannot expense Manhattan strip clubs on your corporate AmEx, and not for lack of trying

Girls in banking are like wilted flowers. They were once vibrant, intelligent, and full of energy. They once dominated their peers in school and were part of the most elite social circles. Now, they are drones devoid of self-confidence…

… their dream job on Craigslist: Associate Brand Strategist for Major Fashion Company…

… follow the long lines and shitty music, and you’ll find yourself flanked by Fulton Street foxes… [Link]

… he told the petite Asian bartender “25 shots,” and paid with hundreds… “THIS is how we do it on Broad & Wall, bitches!”… Disgusted with the state of what was once their solace… every single punk had left, even the bartender. [Link]

Check it out.